I pretend to make my husband feel good – Times of India

I pretend to make my husband feel good – Times of India

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Query: I pretend to like English movies when I truly hate them because of my husband. It’s been 3 years we haven’t watched a single Hindi movie together because he feels hindi movies cannot be good. I now feel I should have been more honest with him about my preferences. Is it too late?

Response by Dr Rachna K Singh: Hi, we understand what you are going through.

In every relationship, people can have different preferences as no two people are the same. Realising that all your tastes cannot be similar to your partner’s is crucial in accepting yourself as an unique individual. While honesty is essential in any relationship, so is understanding that being honest isn’t easy, especially when you fear feeling judged.

While your partner may enjoy English movies more than you, he might value your happiness more than his enjoyment. Making him understand your preferences at any point in your life is better than silently suffering or compromising.

What might help is finding a balance between both of your preferences in everything from movies to food, to other activities, so that both of you feel valued and loved in the relationship.

We understand your hesitancy, but it is important to understand that open and honest communication is a key to healthy relationships. Having a relationship where you are able to communicate with your partner at any point in life is essential for long term happiness.

If at any point you feel that your needs aren’t being understood by your significant other, whether it’s over small things such as the movie selection, or big life-changing decisions it is important to evaluate your relationship and the direction it’s going.

Often in life, we get so wrapped up in trying to please others, that we forget that we are the ones we should take care of first. While relationships are two-way streets, both you and your partner should understand that this comes with the responsibility of taking care of your own happiness as well as the other person’s.

We suggest that you sit down with yourself first to find out the things you enjoy and the reasons you enjoy them and then communicate the same with your partner. Remember, it is equally important to be able to enjoy yourself as is with your partner.

While we understand your fear, remember, relationships are built on mutual love and respect.

Hope this helps. If you need any more assistance, feel free to reach out to me

Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh is HOD – Holistic Medicine, Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon, Relationship, Lifestyle & Stress Management Expert.

Want expert advice for your relationship? Send us a mail at expertadvice.toi@gmail.com

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