NEWSFEEDZONE

Celina Jaitly Haag recently bagged her first Filmfare Award at the FILMFARE (Middle East) Star Achievers Awards Night in Dubai. The actress won the ‘Best Performance in a Short Film’ for Ram Kamal Mukherjee’s ‘Season’s Greetings‘. Ask her how does it feel, and the actress-activist replies, “Overwhelmed!!”

Celina took to her social media handle to share the news:

“Thank you, FILMFARE (ME), for giving this award to genuine hard work. I couldn’t make it for the awards to Dubai, but this award certainly made it to my heart,” read a part of the post that Celina wrote post her win.

In an exclusive conversation with us, the actress writes a heartfelt note, talking about her experience of working on the film, and the feeling of bagging the award after having worked in films for close to two decades which included a long hiatus from the big screen:

It took 18 years as an actor, an 8-year break from cinema, two twin pregnancies and overcoming the loss of my parents and a baby son to win this award as an actor. Heartbreak is a universal experience that comes with intense emotional anguish and distress. I personally believe being locked in it is a great opportunity for self-introspection.

This movie is a calling from beyond. A calling of four very important people in my life who are no more. Ritu Da (Rituporno Ghosh) My late Parents, and Mother figure Trans person who is no more.

I still remember clearly the first day of a movie shoot after an 8-year break. I had a tingling when my director RamKamal Mukherjee shouted .. lights .. cameras… action. It felt like returning home after a long journey. My mother was always right, people born for the cameras know no other friend better than they do the cameras.

My character Romita was a catalyst in transforming Celina into an actor which I always was, but unrecognised. A journey which in my case had to go through many ups and downs. I could never disassociate with Romita, at one time I even told Ramkamal that I was considering legally changing my name to Romita for she resonated better with the audience than Celina the activist and beauty queen.

^{A still from Season’s Greetings}

I had left Cinema back in 2012, since then my late mother tried to keep motivating me to go back saying I need to do cinema for I had a God given talent yet to be exploited by a talented filmmaker. The sudden loss of both my parents and our baby son sent me into a deep depression a year and a half ago. One of the last conversations that I had had casually with ma was again all about why she wanted me to return to the cinema. She told me to fight for my talent and then I lost her. I was also close to Rituda and was to do a project with him, he too passed away before that dream was fulfilled. When Ramkamal who is also a dear friend of 12 years met me in Dubai, the initial narration in the parking of the famous Dubai Mall lead me to believe it was a calling from beyond. I trusted Ram not only as a friend but as a director and storyteller. I knew I could place my comeback in his hands after all it was a calling from beyond. Ram didn’t let me down and given all the reviews I am sure Maa was right and Ritu
da was happy with the tribute.

^{Celina Jaitly Haag}

It was extremely and overwhelmingly difficult to use the word ‘Ma’ in my intense scenes with Lillette
ji because I had just lost my mother and was heartbroken. The only place where I could speak to a ‘Ma’ was now in a movie, in real life I would not hear my mother’s response again. Lillette
ji, an actor par excellence offered an amazing workshop to prepare for the film, I am so grateful to her for being my guru and amazing costar.

As an LGBTQIA+ activist who fought for the repealing of Section 377 most of my life, it was also a very emotional opportunity for me to have for the first time an opportunity to work with a trans actor rightfully cast for the first time in a mainstream role. Shree Ghatak graceful beauty and tenderness on the sets made me believe in every sacrifice I had made to stand up for LGBTQIA+ rights, it validated my dedication to the cause.

Having said that, I am under a continuous process of evolution but this Filmfare award and all the 4-5 star reviews for our film and immense praise for my work in ‘Season’s Greetings’ as well has put a lot of pressure on my future choices I can never stop doing films but it will only be for a script that sets my passion alight. Hopefully, I will be able to win the hearts of filmmakers who are looking for passionate and restrained and emotional performances.

I am here to stay this innings is going to be very different. As the saying goes: “Yet inside journeys await “